Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
