so explain again why im purple
no
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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