even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
