Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize