As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
