Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
