can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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