Swine flu. Run for my life!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
