Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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