I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
