Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
