your thong is hanging out like whoa
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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