Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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