yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
