I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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