I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize