now i know why i became what i already was.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
