If that was your dad, he is hot
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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