Do you still have your period?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
