We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
