butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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