It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it was like eating out sand paper
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
