ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
