My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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