New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
