im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
