A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i dont even know how to be here
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
