Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
