I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
