wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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