Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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