And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
