This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
