I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Randomize
