final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
only if we run a train.
done.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
