at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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