i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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