man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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