No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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