He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
