yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
