I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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