so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
tell me about the fingering
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