He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
