I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize