just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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