I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
