So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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