I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
