No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
