you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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