with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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