Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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