Sponge bath it is.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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