So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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