I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am mentally ready for anal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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