found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
