I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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